When You're Happy

by Howie Newman

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I love my woman with all my soul, she’s smart and pretty She’s got a heart of gold She knows how to cook and dresses so fine I’m so glad that she’s all mine But no one’s perfect, you know that’s true There’s just one thing that she can’t do She tries real hard but misses the mark My baby can’t parallel park My baby can’t parallel park After all these years, she’s still in the dark Back and forth, and up on the curb, bumpin’ and grindin’ It gets on my nerves Rockin’ and rollin’ with all of her heart My baby can’t parallel park We drove into town one Saturday morn It was a beautiful day, sunny and warm Do a little shopping, check out the sales Pick up some food, drop off the mail “One-hour parking,” the street sign said My baby just shrugged and shook her head. “Just one hour? That’s a disgrace. It takes almost that long to get into the space.” It’s simple geometry, it’s no big deal Just angle it in and turn on the wheel Straighten it out and there you are Lock all the doors, get out of the car But to her it’s a mystery with nary a clue It’s just one thing that she can’t do She’s searching for something, like Lewis and Clark My baby can’t parallel park
I’m looking at a two-year-old, big blue eyes and curly hair Hoping that years from now, I’ll remember being there And just what it felt like. Now she’s up there on the stage Dancing up a storm, great big smile and hands that sing Who could ask for more? Where did the time go? Our kids aren’t kids anymore. How’d they grow up so fast? I’m not really sure Next thing you know, they’re walking out the door Our kids aren’t kids anymore He was brash and he was loud, full of energy He could run and he could jump and scamper up a tree I still remember Now he’s tall and mellow, leader of the band A child no longer that’s for sure, almost a man Where did the time go? She’s all grown up and on her own, living far away He’s college bound and confident, has so much to say Where did the time go? Each one is different, yet so much the same They always seemed to make us proud, each in their own way And they still do
When you’re happy, I’m happy, too. When you’re happy I love ya through and through I’ll gladly clean the attic and even eat tofu ’Cause when you’re happy, I’m happy, too I’ll express my feelings and I will go to yoga I will go on nature hikes and I will move to Saratoga I will watch a foreign film with English subtitles Even if it’s four hours long I’ll watch the Home and Garden Channel. I’ll grin and bear it I will buy a brand new suit even though I’ll never wear it I’ll eat at fancy restaurants, order food I can’t pronounce And smile the whole evening through I’ll do the laundry, I’ll wash the dishes I will eat whatever you cook And I will say that it’s delicious When you’re talking to me, I’ll listen intently Even if the ballgame is on When you’re happy, I’m happy, too. When you’re happy I love ya through and through It may seem condescending but my love for you is never ending When you’re happy, I’m happy, too When you’re happy, I’m happy, too
Low Tech 03:05
I’m low tech, I’m old school Some say I’m nothing but an old fool I like to keep things simple as a rule I’m low tech, I’m old school Each day I get a newspaper, it’s what I read That’s news on paper, not some fancy little screen It doesn’t have a keyboard or a little battery But you can take it in the bathtub or anyplace you please When I buy an album, I like to hold it in my hand Look at all the pictures and read about the band I’ve still got cassettes and vinyl but make no mistake I never, ever even thought about buying an eight-track tape I use my phone for calling people. Imagine that It won’t play a movie or pull up a map No information overload and that’s OK ’Cause if my car breaks down, I’ll just call Triple A
If you mention Mike Hessman, that name might not ring a bell But he’s a legend in his own right with a grand story to tell He hit more home runs than any minor leaguer ever did It took dedication, heart and soul, and a ton of grit He just kept playing ’cause he loved it, living out his dream Playing baseball for a living ever since he was eighteen The years flew by just like the wind, he never lost that thirst Becoming minor league home run king Was a blessing and curse It started out in Macon, young Mike just had no fear 1997, he hit 21 that year Danville, Greenville and Myrtle Beach along the way The homers kept a-coming on the road to Triple-A The year that Mike tuned thirty, he was still in Triple-A Then thirty-one and thirty-two, the time just slipped away He played in Mexico and Japan, Venezuela, too Sixteen teams in twenty years ’til fin’lly he was through Did Mike ever make the majors? The answer is yes He had cups of coffee with the Braves, the Tigers and the Mets Fourteen big-league homers, five seasons in the show With a little luck, he might’ve stuck. I guess we’ll never know
Everyone’s on vacation, that’s why nobody’s here They’re scattered ’round the country, drinking wine and beer It is not your fault, it’s just the wrong time of year Everyone’s on vacation, that’s why nobody’s here We didn’t do the mailing, that’s why nobody’s here I think we were on vacation, drinking wine and beer We asked someone to do it but we did not make it clear We didn’t do the mailing, that’s why nobody’s here We worked and planned, oh what’s the use All we’ve got is this lame excuse But there has to be a reason, an explanation for. So let’s analyze the situation just a little more It’s Bingo night at the Elks Club and we just forgot There’s untold riches to be had, that’s why this night is shot You just can’t compete with a thousand-dollar pot It’s Bingo night at the Elks Club and we just forgot Everyone’s on vacation, that’s why nobody’s here We didn’t do the mailing and the weather’s warm and clear It’s Bingo night at the Elks Club and holidays are near The weather’s really bad, that’s why nobody’s here Everyone’s on vacation, that’s why nobody’s here
Think of what you’ve got and what you had before Are things quite as bad as you say? Think of what we’ve done and what we mean to each other Do you really want to throw it all away? Life’s not perfect and neither am I And no one’s saying you can’t dream But I know you better than you think Trust me, things are better than they seem Think of us together and think of us apart Do you really feel we’re better off that way? Think about tomorrow, think about next year Is it better if I go or if I stay? Life’s not simple and neither am I And no one’s saying you can’t dream But I love you more than you know Trust me, things are better than they seem
That Old Car 03:39
The AC was busted, the body was rusted My wife was disgusted ’Bout pourin’ more money into that old car She said it wasn’t really all that smart But it got me where I needed ’Cause I never really needed to get too far I was really fond-a that ’91 Honda, long on endurance Great on insurance You didn’t have to worry ’bout banging up that old car. And nobody would steal it If they did, then they really wouldn’t get too far That old car, I really miss it. That old car, lots of memories were in it I taught both kids to drive, saw my honey on a Saturday night Dragged the equipment to a couple thousand softball games In that old car It wasn’t really high tech, had a cassette deck Was a pain in the neck To get going on a winter’s morn It took a while to get real warm But it got me where I wanted ’Cause I never really wanted to get too far The mechanic said “no way,” I sold it on eBay I didn’t have a say about keepin’ that old car It just about broke my heart Now I got a newer Honda But help, help me Rhonda I’m still a bit despondent without that old car
It’s only money, it comes and goes It’s only money, don’t sell your soul It makes you crazy but everyone knows It’s only money How many times did I drive up and down that highway? How many dollars did I earn? What did I gain from all of that heartache? This is all I really learned Sometimes you’ve just got to chase that foolish dream Following that distant light Then you’ll never wonder what might have been Who’s to say what’s wrong or right?   There are those who make millions and millions And all they ever want is more They couldn’t spend it if they had a hundred lifetimes Is that what living’s really for?
Gather ’round the breakfast table, children you will hear About a midnight ride but not the one by Paul Revere It was me and my brother, and two cousins I recall My last cup of coffee and a game of basketball It was April 1970 when we headed out the door For a little road trip, set our sights on Baltimore The Eastern Conference playoffs The Bullets and the Knicks We were teenage superfans, that’s how we got our kicks It was my last cup of coffee, I never touched another drop Drivin’ home from Baltimore, we made a little stop I was tired and we were lost. I broke into a sweat And drank my last cup of coffee, the one I can’t forget The Knicks won by a point or two, it was quite a show We saw Reed and Bradley, and Earl the Pearl Monroe Four excited teens hopped aboard my Chevy 2 With only one licensed driver. That was you know who I used two creams and a sugar, or was it the other way around? I was growing weary and I quickly gulped it down My stomach turned inside out and I began to pray Wondrin’ how people drink this stuff, each and every day


This new collection of tunes by Boston singer-songwriter Howie Newman explores the various facets of everyday life — marriage, parallel parking, old cars, parenthood and money — with a mostly whimsical twist.

Except for the electric guitar on one track, it’s pretty much an acoustic album, utilizing piano, drums, bass, fiddle, guitars, mandolin, flute, clarinet and saxophone to augment Newman’s upbeat rhythms.

But it’s definitely not traditional folk music. The CD is equal parts country-rock, jazz, pop, swing, blues and Americana, with tight arrangements and pleasing vocal harmonies. Six songs are humorous and the others provide poignant moments that will resonate with people of all ages. The clever lyrics and catchy music keep you tuned in.


released December 15, 2016

Words and music by Howie Newman
(C) 2016 Howie Newman
Chin Music (BMI)

:Where is Everybody?" was recorded live at the First Congregational Church of Shrewsbury (Mass.), April 9, 2016

Howie Newman: acoustic guitars, lead and backup vocals, harmonica, wood block
Tim Ray: piano
Billy Novick: clarinet, saxophone
Todd Glacy: drums
Rob Ignazio: bass, electric guitar
Joe Kessler: fiddle, mandolin
Keith Newman: flute, backup vocals
Jackie Damsky: fiddle, backup vocals
Jennifer Newman: backup vocals
Janet Feld: backup vocals


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Howie Newman Melrose, Massachusetts

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